Why is crying good for you? What pleasure can I find in it. What improvement to one’s body or soul results? Red sore eyes and a pile of soggy tissues? But when I tell friends (or even strangers for now I talk to everyone) how much I cry they tell me it is necessary and I must cry more (how much more can I cry). I am told it will make me feel better? How?
And why do I feel I must cry alone. That crying in front of others is somehow unmanly, unseemly. And what little things start it off. This afternoon the radio played Louis Armstrong’s “We have all the Time in the World” a beautiful song that starts tears coursing down my face as I drive. Because we didn’t have all the time”. Time was oh so short. And all those plans for our “grey” years vanished. The Great Wall, the Pyramids, Manchu Picchu, Angkor Wat. All these things she will never see.
So I resolve not to waste the time I have left for she would not want me to sit and cry for she loved me. But my new found sense of urgency seems lost on the world about me. People dance to their same old tunes and no one else seems ready to risk grabbing a little happiness in the dark. Are we frightened to dare? Probably until the fear of eternity looms bigger by which time it may well be too late.
No comments:
Post a Comment